I’ve been sitting on
this for a week now. Time by time postponing the review because dammit, this is
too hard. But let’s start at the beginning.
By some means (not
illegal, trust me) I came in possession of a gift card of fifty euro. While
strolling through the bookstore a philosophical problem came upon me. Shouldn’t
I spend my hard earned money on a book I really like, and a book of uhm meh
quality with money I got? So after 3 hours of indecisiveness I finally stumbled
upon this Wonder Woman comic. In the literature fiction section. A DC comic
just randomly stuck with other prose novels.
Yeah my country is odd.
Yeah my country is odd.
So, back to this
horrible horrible comic. Lets first see the cover.
Yeah, that’s a very
very big author’s title there. JODI PICOULT. In fact, its bigger than anything
else on the comic, just a bit smaller than Wonder Woman there, who is making an
uninteresting pose. Yeah, that really catches my attention. A black background
and a pose. We can’t have a scene in the comic to hint what it might be about,
because hahahaha people might be interested in this. On the upside that is a well
drawn wonder woman. Yeah, boobs and buts accentuated sides unnatural thin. That
looks like every woman I’ve seen, and all the girls who don’t look like that
should hunger themselves out to fit the ideal.
Yeah I went there, no
its not nitpicking.
So anyways, Jodi
Picoult, henceforth named JP, starts this soft cover TPB with an introduction
about her experiences. This is little extra content, but I’m happy with it. I’m
less happy here to see that JP claims it was her idea to resurrect both
Wondie’s mother, Hypothelia and the sorceress Circe. She claims she wants to
“explore” the mother daughter relationship while also pitting Wondie to a
villain that matches her. Odd. When writers want to explore relationships, they
sometimes create characters who in some way connect to the main character. Like
in the Cassandra Cain solo Batgirl series she gained a friend at a local shop
while also a possible love interest at a rock party. And with the narrative thoughts and
interactions with others we can see how she feels and acts when the topic of
parents are brought up (her dad is a murderer and her mother an assassin).
Wondie’s mother has been dead for quite a while, and in this issue, Love and
Murder, we see her resurrection by the hand of the villainess Circe.
Who was also deceased.
Okay. A little
interruption with backstory about the writer. Jodi Picoult is already well
known for her prose novels Nineteen Minutes, Change of Hearts and many others.
She’s an acclaimed writer and this book is her premier to comics (and if I did
my research adequately, her last endeavor into the medium). So…this is definitely
a writer who can write well.
So how did this turd
happen?
Well before I recap
the story, let’s go a bit in the background of WW.
Pre-crisis Wonder
Woman (pre-crisis indicates the comics before Crisis on Infinitive Earths where
reality god rebooted) was an Amazonian from the island Themyscira, living till
adulthood exclusively around women. She ventured into “Man’s world” to learn
more from the outside world and teach them about equality and stuff. Also,
bondage. Lots and lots of bondage. But that’s the implicit stuff. After the famous
asshole psychiatrist exampled Wondie as a negative example for girls (being
strong, fighting and social roles not fitting for a woman) writers bonded her
down for a while, making her as helpless and useless as any female character at
that time. Well of course there was a time pre-crisis where the comic world
matured a bit, and more social relevant stories were written. Wondie regained
her original personality and had a many good time adventures, writers blissfully
ignoring the many continuity errors plaguing comics at that time. Is it weird
to team up with your teenage and baby self from previous timelines? Don’t tell
Wondie.
Then the Crisis
struck. During crisis, Earth 1 Wonder Woman got hit and apparently killed,
turning back into the clay she was originally formed. Earth 2 Wonder Woman saw
her world wiped out, alongside many of her friends. The Greek Gods invited
residence among themselves, and so the original Diana of Themyscira ascended to
Olympus. Of course, Crisis on Infinitive Earths was a structural strategy to
sort the DC universe world and make things less complicating…by making it more
complicating. See, the CoIE could’ve worked perfectly if writers weren’t so hung
up to EXACTLY KEEP CONTINUITY AS IT WAS. For example: both Dick Grayson and
Jason Todd were to be Batman’s Robin, but since the characters were too
similar, they changed Jason to be annoying and unlikable. This resulted in his
death. Meanwhile Frank Miller got the note to reinvent Batman’s origins, which
he did. But then introduced lt. Gordon as a starting family guy with a baby
son. And no daughter. But writers liked the daughter and didn’t know what to do
with the son, so for the next twenty years they made complicated stories to
shove the son out of Gordon’s life and introduced Babs as a
step-daughter-cousin or something. But I digress. With the Wondie they wanted
to keep the feminism part alive, and also the mythological part. So her story
was that her mother formed her out of clay and the various God’s bestowed her
life and abilities. She lived and trained with the Amazonian warriors, until she
ventured out to Man’s world to learn more and teach compassion.
There were a lot of
hit and miss stories, but between the periods of CoIE and Infinite Crisis (the
sequel) Wonder Woman had proven time and time again to be a strong and
confident character. She spends as much time among the people as she did the
heroes, and even developed many friends and relationships. She helped bridge
her home-island Themyscira with the outside world, and was thus appointed
Ambassador. Both worlds prospered with the exchange of magic and technology.
She wrote a damn philosophy book. So what changed?
Just before the events
of Infinite Crisis Superman and Batman were captured and almost killed by
former-friend-now-foe Maxwell Lord. To save Superman’s life Wonder Woman was
forced to snap his neck – though this got recorded and streamed worldwide,
making everyone afraid of Wonder Woman and paranoid of other “ruthless”
Amazonians. Which makes no sense. Superman knows what happened, he might’ve not
forgiven her for saving his LIFE in expense of Lord, but at least he could’ve
floated down to Earth and explained what happened. He might’ve not approved of
Wondie’s deed, but it did SAVE him and he OWES her to clarify things to the
people. They saw those images out of context, and thus had only one opinion
about it. Sigh but I digress (noticed I didn’t even start talking about the
comic yet).
All right so IC
happened, day was saved, Superman forgave WW yabayabayaba. STILL the people are
paranoid of Amazonians and afraid of Wondie. In Love & Murder we even see
WW’s toys getting cancelled and replaced, among WW losing her image as a hero.
In fact, in her secret identity (I will address that in a minute) she is even
ordered to bring Wonder Woman in!
Well quick info about her secret identity. During an previous run on WW, the
writer had an ingenious idea to give this ONE superhero who didn’t need a
secret identity, a secret identity. Because she needed to be “closer” to the
people she saved daily. So she could “feel to be human.” Dude didn’t realize
that Wondie IS human, albeit super powered, but she lived among people her
whole life and the outside world for the past ten to fifteen years? (DC comics
is like an top model; they refuse to accept the passing of age). All right, I’ll
give ya the benefit of the doubt. Tell me, genius writer, what job will bring
her closer to the life of a normal human?
Secret fucking agent.
Wait, don’t misread
that. I mean she’s a spy. A secret agent going on dangerous mission all over
the world. Please lets agree to visit the writer’s house and force a facepalm
on him. So that’s where this comic starts. Jodi Picoult writing WW in her
secret identity as secret agent, ordered to bring herself as WW in.
Sigh.
She has a partner
called Tom Trevor, who is a shapeshifter. Do you like shapeshifters? You better
cuz this comic is plagued by them. Admittedly there is some fun
characterization here. A bit of chemistry between Tom, showing his playful sides
when he’s alone or with Wondie, but a strict side when he’s working. There is
humor, a few laughs, and some heart touching stuff.
One thing that bothers
me though…
THIS IS NOT WONDER
WOMAN. That…woman that calls herself Diana Prince and claims to be WW, just isn’t
her. WW lived among the outside world for YEARS. She knows how use money – she wrote
a philosophy book! She knows what coffee is – She wrote a damn Book! – She knows
HOW to refuel a damn car – SHE WROTE A DAMN BOOK. This characterization would
work if it was someone else, ANYONE else. Someone new from Themyscira even. But
no, Wondie is a total dumb-ass here. She doesn’t feel like she’s human – which she
clearly is! –and doesn’t know how to use basic mechanics in society. This is
like Superman suddenly not knowing how trains work, or complaining how he feels
detached from society. Hell even in All-Star Superman when his mind and body was
ascending to a higher level he felt closer to humans and his loved ones than
ever.
But the writers weren’t
planning on telling a WW story – no no, they wanted a fish out of the water WW
story. Didn’t want to check continuity or actually read some good WW stories to
see how WW works from the inside. Jodi Picoult who is known for doing precarious
research before she writes, plainly writes WW as the most dullest and Hollywood-cliché
character, relying on the contrast of WW being alien to the society to tell a
story rather than live in WW as she’s supposed to.
This review is way too
long.
To sum this up: Wondie
and Tom are tasked to find WW and bring her in. Tom gets kidnapped by a
now-returned Circe and Wondie goes saving him. After trying to find shelter and
info about Circe, Wondie walks into a trap and is captured by her own agency.
Circe returns to Themyscira and resurrects Wondie’s mother, telling her her daughter
was kidnapped by the USA. Meanwhile Wondie gets tortured and interrogated about
“Amazonian weapon technology”. Tom Trevor uses his shapeshifting abilities to
free Wondie, and the two escaped from the base.
That is part one, and
the best part of the comic. But trust me, good it isn’t. But part two is even
worse. Especially since to what it will lead to..
So Wondie and Tom are
free, but they are in Washington DC and they see some parts are ravaged.
Wondering what’s going on, they find out the DC heroes fighting against
Amazonians. After some very confusing dialogue we learn that the Amazonians
under guidance of Wondie’s mum have attacked Washington DC. The funniest subtext
is them smashing an obelisk (hi hi). Well there is some chatting and oh hey
they meet Circe again, who for some reason is holding a box with “deadly Amazonian
weapon technology”. After a fight Circe is killed…by WW’s mom. Another fight
breaks out and Tom gets the box in possession, but accidently opens it. And it
reveals…the most deadliest Amazonian Weapon!
Bees.
My god.
Dumbasses of the USA,
please feel free to use these “deadly Amazonian weapons” to your advantage. Oh
wait they do, Tom gets stung and is mere “hours” away from dying. So then our
comic ends with Wondie facing her mother challenging to choose between her disillusioned
ethics or her daughter’s life.
For those who have not
read the comic and are unaware, Wondie’s mum is INSANE.
I hate this comic. I’m
happy I didn’t pay a single cent for it and I’m happy no one else paid to get
this copy. This comic does two things right: it blatantly disregards Wonder
Woman as an unique and iconic character and her whole of continuity, and makes
her dumb and dull. And it also targets her mother, and all of the Amazonians just
for the sake of story.
Second: it’s an
offensive attempt for allegory (the Amazon/Washington war satirizing the Iraq
war) where they turn an island of independent free-thinking feminist into
shallow misogynist. Many times we’ll see the Amazon’s killing without thought
or compassion, just because the enemy is from Man’s world. Many times they
regard to the outside world as a lower species that needs to be exterminated or
ruled. DC comics turned the Queen of the Amazon’s into the stereotype of the “angry
feminist” who always rants about injustice towards women and men being the
cause of all evil. DC thinks that Wondie
killing Maxwell Lord is the issue that makes her unpopular in her world, but
the real issue is them insulting feminist all over the world using one of the
most popular female characters ever.
I may have omitted this
in my anger, but the events of Love and Murder lead directly into the company
wide event “Amazon Attacked” a series so utterly criticized people actually
mailed back their copies of it to DC. It is an event full of needless padding,
dumb characters and offensive violence just to make a buck.
And this comic lead to
it all. *punches comic*.
1/5 stars (art is adequate
though unrealistic).
Links:
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